There is something very
interesting about teen-hood and that is having crushes and being crushed on; it
is very common , it is very human and it is not bad, depending on how well you
handle it.
Handling male admirers could be challenging for teenagers especially for a 'teen girl'.
But for most teens the opposite sex coming all out for a relationship is even more challenging because they don't know how to handle it. They need their space and some time to grow up.
Why is this a challenge for most teens?
It is a challenge because they are often shy and are not ready for that special attention their admirers give.
They always feel their eyes are on them especially if they stay close or they always run into their admirers, the reason they feel that way is because they are not fully confident of the woman/ man they are growing into. They just want their space and sanity.
They are defensive; Most teens feels every relationship involves sex, they hate the thought of someone ripping them off. They are not ready to lose that sanity and the peace they enjoy.
This is a treasure and what reminds them that they have more growing up to do. They simply want to be that good girl/boy.
Fear of victimisation: Every girl growing up hear stories of how bigger aunties has been messed up by men.
How they have been frustrated by their supposed admirers , so young girls try to take cover they want to be safe and the safest way they handle the situation is to avoid or hate male admirers
Focus: Some very wise teens knows that the sure way to be truly committed and focused is by putting away distractions. They are not ready to be committed in things like having a male partner. Handling themselves alone is a 'handful'.
For me this is the best reason to stay away from admirers/crushes as a teen because when you understand yourself, you will be able to understand someone else and not just that, you will be able to tell the other person about you confidently as a grown woman. It is best to give your self-time to grow and develop into a 'super, dynamic loving woman'
Understanding is vital in every relationship because it makes a relationship smooth.
Remember when you understand the ROAD your trip becomes smoother.
Secondly having a commitment at such a critical time of your life is so much distraction because
1.You'll always have them dominating your thoughts; making you clueless or think less about your life, your direction and what's really important.
2. The time you need to please and pamper yourself you trade it for pleasing your boyfriend.
3.It makes you watchful or weary of rivalry. You keep comparing yourself to other female/Male admirers.
4.It makes you do things you are not ready for. It can get you emotionally drained.
Most A list students usually says ' I don't have a boyfriend' Think about it.
Another reason crushes/ Admirers are a challenge for teens is because it can bring out the worst in them . Most say mean things to their admirers because they have not seen their spec yet. The ones coming around does not have those characteristics or features they have made up in their head.
These can make teen girls rude especially when those admirers keep invading their space, and this is because they are not that 'dream guy' or 'their fantasy.
Listen up, having admirers or crushes is not a bad thing at all. it does not mean you are a spoilt child. It has nothing to do with religion. It is simply universal, it is just like every other emotion like fear, anxiety, love etc. It is what makes us human capable of LOVE.
It shows you have the ability to love and to be loved. The best way to handle this, is not to shove it off or hate the feeling but to let it bring out the best in you.
1. When teenagers starts having admirers they start paying extra attention to their body and personality {HYGINE}
2. It gets them to be more conscious and gets them to put away ugly habits, like eating along the way or being erratic.
3.It makes them happy at least knowing that they can love and can be loved.
But going all the way out at these stage of your life can be destructive or distracting and that is because 'things are not always, as they seem' it could all be illusion.
Secondly as a young adult, you have a lot to explore within you, there so many things to know about yourself. There are so many dreams to dream which is basically not about your male/female admirer or crushes.
Big dreams, milestones to reach, goals and achievements' you really need to focus.
That person you admire or that admires you can wait for you. Because treasures are worth waiting for?
And we tend to value what has value and not value things without values.
Nowadays social media has made it easy for admirers/ crushes to stay even close. So they see each milestone you have attained
{ even though you are not doing it for them but for yourself and for those that believes in you}
So don't bother about a thing, if they deserve you, they will surely wait for you to be READY!
There is something sweeter than sex, or even companionship and that is LIVING A PURPOSEFUL LIFE.
Sex gives temporary pleasure and sometimes does not.
Companionship is good but can as well fail.
But a life of purpose is what gets you up from your bed every morning and gets you to keep living and hoping and each milestone attained...gets you beaming with smile and happiness.
You can share your thought in the comment section below;
#royalqueen#voiceofteenagers#makingmylifecount
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