10 Key Points We Need to Teach Our Boys NOT to RAPE

What happened yesterday at Ovim Girls Secondary Secondary in Isuikwuato Local Government Area of Abia State, is very pathetic. According to report the rapists came into the school armed with iron rods, cutlass and other weapon leaving so many of the girls severely injured.

Some people might want to play the blame game here, we don't need to blame the school for not having security, government or even blame the girls for dressing provocatively.

We need to tackle this from the very root. Seriously we need to teach our Boys that Rape is so wrong, we need to teach our boys to respect women, we need to teach them to see girls as humans and not sex objects.

So many factors contribute to this madness and that includes poverty, low self esteem, drug, Psychological factors, Early childhood environment, Global trend and economic factors, raising kids that has been molested or have been badly hurt etc

1. We need to teach our boys that sexual harassment of any kind is WRONG. Unwanted comments about a person's body or catcalls on the street are not funny and they are not compliments. It can make a person feel threatened and has been shown to lead to anxiety and body consciousness. Instead of participating in sexual harassment, think about how rude or vulgar comments may make a person feel.

 2.Secondly we should never give room for esteem problem. Some parents actually call their boys WEAK OR LAZY. That is very bad, Most times boys that rape are trying to show off strength or prove a point.. They need to be taught to believe in themselves.

3.They need to have accurate knowledge of  what it means to set great goals and work to achieve them

4. Our boys should know that there is more to life which is making positive impact, they need to be guided and trained to be kind and what it is to be a gentle man.

5.We need to always Engage our boys in things that makes them happy or gives them fulfilment, it could be sports, music or even education

6. They need to understand Consent laws. Consent means a person can freely choose whether or not to engage in sexual activity and can stop the activity at any time during sexual contact. In addition to the basic definition, it is illegal to have sex with a minor, so know the age of consent in your state. Also be aware that a person, not matter how old they are, cannot give consent if they are intoxicated, asleep or mentally impaired.

This is because if someone doesn’t know the limits of consent, they may not understand when they’re violating someone else and they may unknowingly rape someone.

7.  No one is entitled to sex. It may seem like everyone is having sex, all the time. But that is not reality. No one is ever entitled to sex with someone. That includes a spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. You don't "earn" sex from being a "nice guy" or spending money on a date. Sex is a mutual decision that both parties make on an ongoing basis.

Why? A large, international study conducted by the United Nations found (link is external) a pervasive belief among rapists that men are entitled to sexual experiences.

8. Alcohol makes things risky. Alcohol clouds judgement and lowers inhibitions. It also interferes with clear communication, and thus you may not accurately read non-verbal communication or hear a person's "no" clearly when you are drunk. Substance use can lead you to a decision you deeply regret. 

9. Evil communication corrupts good manners, they never should be around people that does not have good moral values

 10. They should be taught to guide their mind with all diligence read it here

Now all these written above...As a parent how can you give out these things  if you don't have them?
I will leave you to ponder on that.