Power is not about intimidating others or using aggression to get what you want.
Power is about knowing your worth enough to ask clearly and with confidence for what you want. power is the ability to create change in your life. Change for the better. Growth. It’s to be in control of your reactions and to feel your feelings. It’s to understand and accept who you are, what you want.
Giving away your personal power robs you of mental strength. Making a conscious choice to take back your power is key to being in control in your life.
But before you can create positive change, you need to recognise the ways in which you're giving your power away.
Perhaps people are also unclear about what it really means to “give it away”. Here is a list of things you might be doing that are clear indicators that you’re giving away your power.
1. Being a complainant
There's a big difference between complaining and problem-solving. Venting to your friends, family, and co-workers keeps you focused on the problem and prevents you from creating a solution. Grumbling not only implies you have no power over your situation, but also shows you lack power over your attitude.
2. Accept responsibility for how you feel.
Saying someone makes you feel bad shows they have power over how you feel. Don't let other people's behavior dictate your emotions. Accept that it's completely up to you to manage your emotions, regardless of how other people behave.
3. Have healthy boundaries.
Giving in to guilt trips, letting people waste your time, and refusing to speak up for yourself gives people power over you. Rather than blame others for forcing you to do something, recognize that you're in charge. Establish healthy physical and emotional boundaries that give you control over how you spend your time and whom you spend it with.
4. Practice forgiveness.
Holding a grudge against someone who has hurt you doesn't punish the other person. Instead, it only punishes you. When you waste valuable time thinking about a person you feel wronged you, it takes away your ability to enjoy the moment.
Forgiving someone is the best way to take back your power. But to be clear, forgiveness isn't about saying what the person did was OK. Instead, it's about choosing to let go of the hurt and anger that interferes with your ability to enjoy life. Choosing to let go of the hurt and anger, regardless of whether the person is remorseful, is the best way to take back your power.
5. Know your values.
When you're not clear what your values are, you're at risk of becoming more like a helpless passenger, rather than a confident driver, in your own life. You'll be at risk of jumping on board with other people's ideas and you may be easily led astray. Take back your power by acknowledging your values and living true to what's important to you
You’ll struggle to know your priorities and you’ll be easily influenced by others. Commit to figuring out your top values and design a life that has meaning for you.
6. Don't waste time on unproductive thoughts.
Take control over the thoughts that occupy your mind so you don't give more brain power to areas of your life that don't deserve it.
7. Don't always think you don't have a choice
Saying things like 'I had no choice but to say yes" infers you're a victim of unfortunate circumstances. While there will certainly be consequences for the decisions you make, acknowledge that you always have choices.
8. Make your self-worth independent of other's opinions.
If your self-worth depends on others holding you in high regard, you'll likely become a people-pleaser. Not everyone needs to like you, nor do they have to agree with your lifestyle. Evaluate the merit of criticism you receive, but never allow one person's opinion determine your self-worth.
9. Be willing to stand out from the crowd.
Self-doubt and fear can lead you to want to blend in with those around you. But, trying to fit in with the crowd will cause you to disguise who you really are. Trust that you're mentally strong enough to stand out and dare to be different. Your self-image depends on other people’s opinions of you.
If you only feel good about yourself when others hold you in high regard, you’ll become a people-pleaser. Even worse, you’ll never feel quite good enough because you can’t please everyone. Never let one person’s opinion of you determine your self-worth
When self-doubt and fear creep in, it can be tempting to want to blend in with those around you. But trying to fit in with the crowd means changing who you are to avoid attention or criticism. Don't give other people the power to stifle your personality. Dare to be yourself and be willing to stand out.
Take Back Your Power
If you recognize areas in your life where you’ve been giving away your power, commit to taking it back today. You only have so much time and energy so it's important to use your resources wisely.
Accept full responsibility for the way you think, feel, and behave. Empowering yourself is key reaching your greatest potential.
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