We are likely to meet toxic and manipulative people in our life time. We have people around us, we can't run away from people. Some of the people we meet every day have a narcissist background and it robbed off on them In terms of how they relate with us.
Let me take some time to describe them to help you relate.
I understand we show love and care in different degrees and its based on personality, training, environment and experience but manipulative/toxic people are a set that makes you see nothing but selfishness.
These set of people expect too much from you but gives very little.
They want you catering for them. They need love but are not willing to know how to love.
They carry you like a pinch of salt but want you to carry them like a bag of cement.
They expect too much from you and in turn give less.
It can be draining to have toxic or manipulative people around as it can make you enjoy your life less.
In as much as we are to be respectful and show love . We also owe ourselves the responsibility of care and attention.
It's no news that our body responds to stress and the result is often a break-down.
Let's take a look at ways to know if you are in a relationship that needs restructuring 😂
I. You always feel the need to impress: They are likely to make you feel not good enough. This is because they expect too much and when you fail they put you down.
If you can't restructure that relationship it's best you distant yourself as it will lower your sense of self and how you believe others perceive you.
2.They make you do bad stuffs: They make you lie, act-mean, gossip or cheat. After spending time with manipulative/toxic people, they leave you guilt ridden. The feeling of I shouldn't have done this and that. Talk about values Toxic people can make you go against your values. To read about values click here
They make you compromise your own ideals and goals.
3.They snatch your power: You are likely to loose your power when in a toxic manipulative relationship. When they are around you it's like you are walking on egg shell...you just have to be careful with what you say, how you say it and even how they receive it . They are opinionated, judgemental and critical.
You just don't feel comfortable around them. They make you over defend yourself. The bottom line is this 'they drain you'
4.Needy: I know so many of us can relate to this one. When they call you on the phone, they need one thing or the other. They might ask you how you are faring but they never asked to really hear what your reply would be. They asked to observe protocol. Lol 😂
You just see yourself constantly saving them and always putting up with their high standards.
5.They have serious attitude problem: They are jealous. They believe they are the only ones that deserves the good things of life and no body should be better.
When they see friends doing well they put them down and try to talk negative about them.
They complain too much and can even go as far as harming themselves to prove a silly point.
6.They hardly let go - Most toxic people find it difficult to forget. They are very quick to remind you of what you did two decades ago, and when they narrate the incident its as though it happened just a day before.
7.They are dramatic. Drama is a game for them and they play it so well. Their exaggeration is world class.
And the annoying part of the whole show is that they drag you in too.
8. They make you feel indebted - This one is a very common trait. They say things like 'I'm doing this because it's you' They can go on and on to tell you what they have done for you, blah blah blah. Please note they are trying to score a cheap point. Never fall for that.
Finally, If you see yourself exhibiting one or more of the traits here, take this post as a call for 'correction' or self evaluation.
Take others serious as much as you want them to take you.
It's not really easy with anyone in this world filled with challenges, let's all take care of each other as much as we want to be taken care of.
You have needs, others have as well (maybe a bigger need)
Be understanding.
And to those that are in toxic relationship, it's either you restructure that relationship by creating boundaries or you distance your self. Be safe and live your life intentionally.
Above all, always remember you can't please everyone, do your best for people.
This post should not make you less empathetic and compassionate but it should immunize and help you stay alive.
we owe ourselves happiness and peace!
Share your thoughts with me in the comment section. Would love to hear from you.
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